Worry and Overwhelm

Photo by Andrei Panfiloiu on Unsplash

I'm in complete overwhelm at this moment. I don't know why exactly. I look around at all my "stuff" and I just don't know what I'm going to do with it all. It's really freaking me out. There's so much! I'm planning on taking before and after videos and pics to show everyone via YouTube but even that feels like a really big task right now. On top of feeling overwhelmed I threw my back out again. I'm an insomniac normally but sleeping with back spasms is, of course, worse. 

I know some days/weeks/months will just be hard. That's the way life is. I can always count on change and difficulty. Not in a bad way, just in a practical way. 

I edited and posted my latest podcast today and interviewed another amazing person yesterday. I made a quick one-off sans interview about my love for circus, to hopefully inspire others.

I feel it's important to blog even when things are hard and they suck.

I have made lists about what items I wanted to keep in each part of my van but there's just too much and the thought of that overwhelms me too. There's not enough space in my van "garage" for everything I want to bring. There's much less space in my living area. Because of the fridge I chose and the small size of the van I am getting, there's not even enough space for more than one smallish ground level cabinet. This has me worried about where I'll put pots and pans and heavier items that I don't want to stuff overhead. I know that in the end, it's all going to work out, it has to, but right now I'm worrying. 

Logically I get this is counter-productive and so I've decided not to think about what box I'm going to put where and figure the logistics out when I've packed up and am in the converted van.

I also had to rethink some important things like the fact that I should use glass in the van and need to find a way to lock up my knives—both in case of an accident.

Thanks to Jeff Wagg's Podcast, Built to Go, I watched the video of a camper van crashing at 35mph and it was not pretty. Drawers were torn open, and all the glass went flying up front and shattered. There were "crash-test dummy" kids in the seats behind the driver and they were pummeled with debris. I'm glad I watched it though. I already planned to keep my dog fastened in place in his dog bed* which I purchased after watching crash test videos with (stuffed toy) dogs! The one I bought fares really well but here are harness options for your pup.

But what about flying glass shards and pointy knives turned missiles!!?? YIKES!!! Yes my brain never stops! No wonder I'm an insomniac! I fear the off switch may be the long sleep and I don't like that option so I'm embracing my overthinking instead.

Regarding my overwhelm, today I thought it would be great to get my storage unit NOW and start piling items in it but I can't afford to pay for the space for 6 months. Should I pack things in boxes and pile them in the corner of my living room? No, I should figure out what I want to give away, which is what I've been doing, and keep parting with it. Back to the drawing board...

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~KA©
* I have one affiliate link above for the car (crash safe) doggie bed I use but you are not required to use my link. I appreciate it, if you choose to, I will earn a few cents :)

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